I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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