i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
