Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
