ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
