is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
