i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
