we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
