Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize