i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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