oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
