Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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