so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
