I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
