did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
