Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
