We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I wish there were birth control emojis
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
