Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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