didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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