Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
