Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
