apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
