i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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