Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Shame is for Republicans.
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