my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
