I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
