hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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