It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
