dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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