Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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