No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
