you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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