**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
