I want to walk on stilts...naked
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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