I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize