I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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