Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
