I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
