I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
