I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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