discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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