I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
