Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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