Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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