I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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