you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dear god my vagina.
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