Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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