THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
