Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
