The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
