i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
