I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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