My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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