I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
