Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
