Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
