i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
