I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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