So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
