nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize