Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
NoShamevember. You game?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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