At least make sure they are 18
Why
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
