seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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