when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
