I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
