I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
