Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
